Morning....

I sit here (alone of course - cause no one really pays attention to a big gal!) pondering thoughts of a once happy life over my cup of sanity this morning, my coffee. I was engaged to be married a while back and that blew up in my face. My nature is to take care of other people - out of kindness but also out of some innate need to seek approval. I feel if they see how hard I work they will not see me just as a plus sized gal. Also it stems from my whole abandonment issues but that is a whole different blog and more coffee. I did everything I knew to do for this man. Took care of everything - even threw my morals out the window so I could make him happy in every way. What a waste of time. He got fired, became depressed and ignored me and the little people running a muck at the house (his child and then my child) - I sacrificed everything for nothing in return. Now he is moving on with his life with a much skinnier, bigger boobed.... blond chick (that is what I shall call her - for the sake of this blog and me still remaining a Christian!). Ooooh and she has no kids. It is so hard as Christian woman who sacrificed it all (dreams, job and morals!) and he just left. Lesson learned. Oh well....think I will just have some doughnuts with my coffee :) Gotta keep up my girlish figure! Happy day to all!